Have you ever been speechless? Why? What was it that made you sit or stand there and wonder what, if anything, is supposed to come out of your mouth next? It's hard to know what to say sometimes, if not all the time. Do you take a risk and speak up, or play it safe and not say anything at all? Then there is always speechlessness from not being able to explain something. Do you just start talking and try to force your way through and hope that something, somewhat coherent, comes out? What if you are the type of person who shuts down waiting for everyone else to catch up to your level of understanding, which if you have forgotten is so great that you can't explain it.
These past few weeks I have been speechless. Yes, I have talked outside of this blog, but not much. I tend to be the type of person who needs to talk my way through something. However "something" implies, one thing, which in my case is not the case. In fact, the facts that I've been finding have left me dumbfounded. Thats very plural, if you will. I've been hit with so many truths in the past few weeks. Truths that have challenged my character, some I've passed, some I've failed, and some are still to be determined. One liners from God that have turned "my" world upside down. (Have you ever considered that, turned my world.... IT'S NOT MY WORLD!!! and if anything was upside down it was by my doing, THINGS ARE BEING CORRECTED, NOT DESTROYED.)
Here are those one liners... from Jesus!
- Pick up your cross and follow me.
- Whoever tries to find his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will find it.
- I love you.
- I'll always come through for you.
These things have been spinning through my mind at warp speed. I'm on emotional overload. Some of the things that I've been struggling with should , in a normal situation, leave me in tears. Nothing so bad that I need to pull out the sack cloth and ashes. No need to tear my cloak. I've just been dealing with some good old fashion, hard stuff.
Just to let you guys in on a secret. I had no idea where I was going with this while I was writing it. Thank you though, for reading, I hope this is a blessing for you, as it has been to me. In saying that, I will tell you that as I began writing "leave me in tears" in the paragraph above, I had an epiphany. Maybe, just maybe, I'm winning out on these things. All these one liners that have left be blown away, what if they are words from GOD meant to give me peace. In typing those lines all I was thinking was what has GOD been letting me know lately. Going back and reading that it is very clear to me.
Clayton,
Pick up your cross, follow me. Come and do what I've called you to do. Let go of what you think your life should be. I know what's best for you. I'm what's best for you. Keep holding on and things will begin to crumble. My plans are solid. In doing all of this know that I love you. I'll never let you go. I'll never fail in my character, justice, grace, mercy, kindness, love, patience, all these things are always yours. Know that I will always come through for you. I've fought for you on the cross, I'm not going to give up on you now. I've given you so many things to do for my Kingdom. Lets go and get them done, you and I.
-God.
Speechless?
